Making It In High Heels

Inspiring Stories by Women for Women of All Ages

So I have the Grand Opening Party for my chiropractic clinic next week.  It’s so hard to go from the health and wellness world to the business world.  All my schooling was about being a great chiropractor, but in order to be a busy and successful chiropractor I really need to be a great business woman.

In order to do that I have to get noticed!  In other words I have to attract people into my clinic.  I know that in this day and age most people, especially women, see the value in preventative healthcare, or wellness care.  Yet the most common thing that people say to me is, I have this problem but it’s really just muscular, so I don’t need you.

This always presents me with an opportunity to educate those people as to how the body works as one, and muscles act on the joints, therefore by getting good chiropractic care their muscles will be addressed.  So that is one way to get noticed, be informative and intellectual.

The other ways to get noticed is marketing.  The vast world of marketing, what works, what doesn’t, what’s new, what’s old, how do you get someone to write an article about you before you can afford advertising?  It’s definitely a hard world to navigate, but I am going at it everyday.

I actually sent an email about my Official Grand Opening to a newspaper, and they asked if I wanted to advertise with them.  The problem is that it is a brand new business and I am working from a deficit.  Although advertising in a paper would be amazing, I thought that maybe I could inspire them to come and cover my opening, thereby getting me noticed, and then I could afford the advertising!

We’ll see if it works.  If anyone knows some journalists out there that would like to write about a young professional woman working towards her dream, please let them know!!  BTW my dream is to have a vibrant health and wellness centre that focuses on women and children, with at least one of each health specialist: a medical doctor/pediatrician, naturopath, massage therapists, chiropractor, physiotherapist, midwives and doulas.

My opening party is on Wednesday November 19th from 4pm to 8pm.

542 Mt Pleasant Rd, Suite 201, Toronto, Ontario.

Please come and stop by and help me get noticed!

A couple of weeks ago I heard a very inspiring sermon at church regarding the differences between males and females. The message taught me a valuable lesson and I want to share it with you.

In general, men are task oriented, results driven and competitive

In general, women are relationship builders and strive towards co-operation and care

If, (in the general sense) this is true, how do women and men relate to one another and are we not at odds? I have behaved much like a man during the past five years of singledom. I have enjoyed the pursuit; the game of seeking, finding and then becoming bored once the goal was achieved. As a result of my actions, there have been many times I’ve ignored family and friends because of the mission to achieve a task. This is not a healthy way to live and is the direct opposite of my true desires - to be in loving relationships with family, friends and one special man. Back in high school and all through my twenties, my Mother used to tell me;

‘Let the boys pursue you’

I would shake my head in disbelief. Today, I can see that she was on to something because my previous pursuits were disasterous! My new strategy brings an end to game playing and role reversals. I will allow the ‘goal oriented males’ to seek me out while I focus on building solid relationships. This is not to say that I will become meak and docile (not within my nature), this means giving up issues of control and allowing life to flow and ebb as it naturally should.

I welcome your comments!

Lisa Bradburn

The Ontario government recently passed a law permitting all adoption cases to become open and information on birth parents and adopted children will become public knowledge by June 1 2009.

How does this affect individuals?

In 1976 my Birth Mother was 17 years of age when she gave me up for adoption.  Under the current adoption laws, I do not know her last name, her whereabouts, our shared ethnic background or family medical history.  Once the disclosure agreement takes place on June 1 2009, all of this information will become available- however there is a catch. Should my Birth Mother become aware of this law, she can contact the Government of Ontario by June 1, 09 to ensure that her record remains closed. The challenge is that the Government is not widely advertising this new law therefore many Birth Parents who are not familiar with the changes may be faced with an unexpected call or visit from the adopted child.

At age 25 the Children’s Aid Society informed me that my Birth Mother was not at a point in her life where she was able to meet me. I respect and accept her decision.  I am able to look at the new laws objectively and foresee both positive and painful outcomes. My hope is that children who are adopted and seeking their identities will keep in mind the desires of their Birth Parents and the potential repercussions before making initial contact.

I look forward to your thoughts

Lisa

Hey!! I just read Shelley Porritt’s story. It was soooo great! The message in it was so strong. It tells you to stand up for yourself and show you’re not afraid. It tells you to have confidence!!!

In my life, I’ve definatly been bullied before, and it was a new and scary thing, and something I totally wasn’t used to!!! I had no idea why that person was picking on me!! I didn’t know what to do!! But this story is really great because it tells the reader how to handle that sort of situation; with confidence. If you stand up for yourself, your bully gets afraid, and then they will leave you alone!

There are definatly girls out there who have no clue how to handle a bully. This story is definatly going to help anyone in a similar situation. Just a bit of confidence can make all the difference!!!

Hey guys, it’s Virginia here!

After reading Shannon Leroux’s touching story about growing up and all of the challenges that it imposes, I feel that I can relate to her in many ways. Whether it be because of a test I failed, a song I couldn’t play, or even the way my hair looked some morning, I have felt self-doubt more times than I could ever count. Without even realizing it, I convinced myself that I was talentless.

But as Shannon states in her story, this is not a good way to think of yourself, and certainly not the right way to accomplish your dreams. It’s nearly impossible to work up to your full potential when your head is filled with negativity towards yourself. You have to work with what you’re given, and focus on the positive in your life. Complaining won’t change your life, but working towards an achievable goal could. As a wise person once said, “The only limits we have are the ones we place upon ourselves.” You truly can do anything if you set your mind to it. So get out there, and do what you want!

Until next time,
Virginia ( :

Hey, Sarah here. Just read Sapna Jain’s story, and it’s soooooo good! Sapna’sstory deals with a bunch of girls who she considered her “best friends” that end up bullying her and making her life a living hell. I can relate to Sapna because I’ve had friends that have treated me badly before. I tried to deal with it, but I just became more and more miserable. It’s a horrible feeling when people you trust and care about turn their backs on you, and you have absolutely no clue what you did.

Like Sapna, I’ve had friends stop talking to me because of the way I looked, or where my clothes were from. At first, I tried so hard to win their approval back by changing every part of me. I was a different person, and I wasn’t having a good time but as long as I had my “friends”, I was okay. But then they made a decision that I just wasn’t cool enough. I would go home and cry every night, wondering what I did wrong or what was wrong with me? If only I had known then, that I wasn’t the problem. It’s a hard thing to get over, but it’s worth it when you realize that you’re a great person and you don’t need friends like that. It feels like a huge weight is being lifted off your shoulders.

Today, I’m a strong and confident woman - I don’t need bad friends weighing me down. I am who I am, and if someone can’t accept it, too bad.

-Sarah

Hey guys, it’s Virginia here! I hope you’ve all had a great week.

I just finished Maria Panopalis’ story, and I feel I can relate greatly. Maria’s story is about her constant battle with acne as a teen, and how it helped shape her into the strong woman she is today. I think any woman could relate to this story, because everyone has felt insecure about some aspect of their appearance at least once. Whether it be a bad hair dayor a gross pimple on my nose, I’ve had days when I thought, “Ew, I cannot go out looking like THIS!” And although the ones who love us dearly try and convince us that “looks just don’t matter”, everyone cares about looks to a certain extent. It would nice to always have perfect hair, or perfect skin, or a perfect body; but life doesn’t work that way, unless you’re some type of superwoman!

I know that I’ll always feel insecure about the way I look, but I’ve learned to focus on more important things. Like my friends, or schoolwork, or my music. By focusing on other aspects of your life and not obsessing over your looks, it just seems more attractive. The people I find the sexiest, are the ones who have a great sense of humor and a vibrant personality. Not the ones who are always looking into a mirror, or care more about how they look then the people who are right in front of them. When you live in a society solely focused on looks, you need to stand out - but I’m not talking about hair or clothes this time, I’m talking about a radiant personality.

Hope I gave you something to think about,
Virginia (:

This is it, the time has come.  I won’t be held down any more.  The past is gone.  It was rough and it still is and no one ever said it was going to be easy.  There are too many people that I can’t let down.  I have to show them it can be done!! I have to give them hope and prove to them that if you believe and hold onto your dreams they can happen.  My family, my friends, even those who don’t believe in me, help to keep me focused.  I know that there will be a door that will open.  I know that there is someone out there who’s going to give me a chance to shine.  And when that happens, I will still be me.  No, I’m not going to forget where I came from!!  No, I’m not going to forget the people who believed in me.  And yes I will remember all the things that I said that I wanted to do to help out others I haven’t forgotten.

I have a story or history, so does everyone in the world.  I will tell you but not so you feel sorry for me, so that maybe it will help enlighten or help in some small way to see how you can be what ever it is you want to be.  I also know that there are so many other’s in the world that have it much harder than me.  To them I say keep strong and stay focused you can make it!  You are not a victim or a product of your environment; you are what you make yourself to be.  I also share this story and hope that judgment isn’t passed onto anyone, because we all make mistakes in life.  There’s no handbook on how to raise children or how to be the perfect person.  Even if there was it would be different from culture to culture, from city to city, and from person to person.  I don’t hold grudges or have any ill will feelings about my past.  I’m grateful for the life I had and have and wouldn’t change a thing about my past.  I feel it’s made me a better person and it’s apart of who I am today. Also this is just my side of the story; I don’t know the reasoning or thoughts of others.  I am not perfect and have had made my share of mistakes in life so I don’t criticize what other may have done.  My best friend told me that I should be a public speaker because of all of my accomplishments and how many obstacles I have been through in my life.  She happens to be one of my greatest inspirations. Thanks Angie this is for you!!

Alrighty then, this is just one particular event in my life there’s more but I really don’t want to write a book, so here it goes.  I was about 15 or 16 years old and I was living with my two younger siblings at the time ages 1 and 10, my mother and my father.  My parents had just been remarried the year before and we were living in a single family home for the first time in my life.  My father was a fisherman but had been in an accident on the boat where a drag had crushed his ankle and had been out of work for awhile.  My mother was a painter and was subcontracting work in GA and we lived in MA.

(Just a little more history so that I can give a better picture to you the reader.  My youngest sister, one year old at the time, called me mommy.  I was always taking care of her and my middle sister as well.  I have worked since the age of 12 and I have supported myself since then.  I bought my own food and clothing and my parents provided me with a roof over my head.  I had also lived with one of my friend’s family and paid rent, but ended up moving back home for my sisters.)

My mom came back from GA after working there for a couple of weeks and I had noticed a change in her.  I had caught her on the phone talking with someone who I knew wasn’t my father and I knew she was having a relationship with someone else.  She knew that I had caught her and a few days later came to talk to me.  My father and I at the time where not getting along at all.  He had given my mother an ultimatum that I leave the house or he was going to leave. (I wasn’t an angle)  When my mom came to talk to me she told me that she had a boyfriend in GA.  Also that she planned to leave my dad without telling him and she was going to be taking the kids with her.  She told me that I could stay or leave but this was what was going to happen.

I’m sorry if my thoughts are random, it’s hard to write this and remember those feelings of helplessness and despair.

So I being sixteen was thinking and hoping that she was bluffing.  My mom and dad were getting along really well.  I didn’t tell anyone about what she had said to me and I didn’t really know what to do, beside to brush it off.  So one day I remember my dad saying that he was going out to his mother’s house to work on his car.  Then when he left my mother dropped the bomb.  She told my middle sister and I to pack up whatever we would need clothes and that we were leaving.  My sister started to cry and I said she didn’t want to go and my mom told her she could stay but she was leaving and taking the baby with her.  So, we packed up our clothes and left everything behind.  We didn’t get to say ‘bye’ to our dad or other family and friends.  I couldn’t stay because I had to take care of my sisters.  My mom told us how great it would be when we got there.  How it would just be us girls.  She drove all day and night and as we approached GA she then told us how we were going to be staying with her boyfriend and he was going to take care of us.  She met up with him at a gas station and we stayed in the car.  Then she came back to the car and we followed his car to our final destination for the night.  The final destination happened to be a two bedroom mobile home, which had including my family nine kids and five adults living in it.  My two sisters and I were then lead into a bedroom where there was a twin size bed and told to go to sleep.  Then we were left alone and my mom and her boyfriend whet into another bedroom and my sister and I could hear them having sex.  I broke down and so did my middle sister and my baby sister was just climbing all over us, too wound up to sleep.

I have never been to GA prior to then and didn’t have any family there.  We were out in the boonies, it was a two hour drive to get to the nearest gas station/convenience store.  My sister and I weren’t allowed to have contact with anyone.  On top of the coach roach infested home the water smelt like sewage!  We had to boil it before we could even drink it.  We also had to alternate sleeping on the floor and sharing the bed with the other kids, which I became the babysitter for since I was the oldest.  My mom didn’t enroll me back into high school, I think she just wanted me to work and take care of the kids.  She then told my sister and I a few weeks or so down the road that she was pregnant with her boyfriend’s baby.  All the adults where alcoholics, I can remember not having enough food in the house but plenty of alcohol, so I would go without and give it to my sisters.  I then got a job working construction and would work ten hours a day to try and save money to go back home.  I told my mom I was going to go to my prom.  I then started to talk to my dad behind my mother’s back.  But, I really felt used by him because when I finally broke down and told him where we were my mother kicked me out of the house and I had no where to go.  I ended up living with the family that owned the construction company, thank god for kind people.  My dad did try to help me and I was on my own and felt really alone in the world.

(During this time I did have the thoughts going through my mind that this was it.  Why fight it?  This is what I am meant to be.  I am meant to be a high school drop out and an alcoholic, so why fight it!  Then all I had to do is look at my sisters and my thoughts would change.  NO!! This can’t be it there is more and there is better.  This isn’t what I want for them and it isn’t what I want for me!  My sisters were my family and I had to show them and teach them.)

I kept working and ended up saving enough money for a train ticket back to Ma.  But I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to my sisters who mean the world to me.  God only knew when I would get the chance to see them again.  So, I got a ride to my mother’s home and knocked on the door.  The windows where all boarded up, my mom was trying to avoid being served some legal documents from my father.  Her boyfriend came to the door and cracked it open and told me I wasn’t allowed to see my sisters and that I should leave.  I told him that I was leaving and I begged him just to let me say goodbye.  He said sorry, so then I just pushed the door open and started running through the house looking for my sisters but couldn’t find them.  My mother started screaming at me.  She was telling me to get out of the house before she called the cops and had me arrested.  I have never before or after swore at my mother, but that day as I was lead out of the house I told her that she was f**ked in head.  I then stayed outside the house crying, begging to say bye to my sisters.  I could here my middle sister crying begging to go outside to see me.  They allowed her to go outside and we embraced for along time, she then asked what about me?  I told her I will come back for you, I promise.

I then headed to the train station for my travel back to home.  Not really knowing what to expect.  I didn’t know where I was going to stay or what I was going to do.  I felt that my father was blaming me for what was happening.

Background of my dad and our relationship:

Through my life all I ever wanted from my dad was for him to be proud of me.  He was my best friend when I was growing up, we did everything together.  Then my middle sister was born and I was kind of pushed to the side and became the work horse.  Always taking care of the house cleaning.  My grandmothers use to call me Christyella (Cinderella).  I was told at the age of 15 years old by my mother, that my father wasn’t my biological father.  I didn’t believe her when she told me at first because she was laughing, but she told me who my biological dad was and that he wanted me to know.  My dad started pushing me away more so after I had found this out.  I did tell him that I had an even greater amount of respect from him and that he was my dad no matter what anyone else said.  Anyone can make a baby, but a father is a person who raises a child.  He to this very day is the only person who can make me cry, just by talking to me.  And for anyone who doesn’t know me, I don’t cry.  It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t.

Okay, back to my story.  I was so nervous traveling alone, but I ended up really enjoying the experience.  I met all kinds of people from all over the country.  I ended up staying with my friend’s family and then with my dad.  He had found where my middle sister was going to school and came up with a plan to kidnap her from school.  Only thing was that my mother had supposedly told the school that my father was deceased.  See my father is a Jr. and my grandfather had passed away on a fishing boat two years before.  So the plan was that I had to kidnap my sister from school in a rental car.

My dad, his friend, and I drove to GA and went to my sister’s school.  They gave me the rental car and told me the plan on wear to drive and where they would be, the whole nine yards.  I pulled up to the school and it was raining outside, so when I got out of the car I walked under an over hang in the front of the school, where children were being let off by the buses.  One of the teachers had seen me and asked if I needed some help.  I told her that I was waiting for my sister because when she left for school she took my homework with her by accident.  The teacher asked me who my sister was and I told her.  Then she said that her bus hadn’t come yet and what the bus number was so that I could look out for it.  The bus pulled in a few minutes later.  When the doors opened in front of me my heart was in my throat.  I saw my sister coming down the steps and she lifted her head and made eye contact with me right away.  She then rushed off the bus and into my arms and started to cry.  I was just about in tears but immediately started walking with her towards the rental car.  As we were walking I told her why I was there and that I was here to bring here back home.  She started to ask, what about mom and our little sister?  I told her that she would have to make a choice, that if she wanted to stay I would just tell dad I couldn’t find you.  She decided to leave. ^_^  My sister, dad, and I didn’t get to see my baby sister until a year and a half after that day.  It broke my heart that she didn’t even know me.

But… some great things have happened since then and continue to every day and I am so grateful for my life.

Hey it’s Becky…AGAIN!

I know i JUST blogged, but i can’t help myself, I just read this story and I knew I needed to write something about it. Well, first, I found this story very helpful to my situation because I really feel like I’m in the same shoes as Francesca was in. I know most people would say that I’m not the most giving person, but I am definitely not what Francesca called a ‘feeder’. I just think that I know someone who is a feeder and I’m still trying to figure out if she’s true friend or not. I haven’t known her for THAT long, but we hang out and have tons of fun, then my friends start to ask me why I would say stuff about them that I had never said. When I ask them who tells them this stuff, it all comes back to this girl.

I’ve been thinking about what the best thing to do about this is for quite a while now and as I read this story just expecting to be touched or moved by the sad lives of these women, I was also given really good advice. Now I know what i should do after reading Francesca’s story. I am going to confront the girl and ask her whats going on and decide then if she really is a feeder and let her know I don’t want to be friends anymore.

So thank you so much Francesca if you ever read this, you’ve helped my make a great decision!

-Becky

Hey everyone, It’s Becky again!

First, I just thought I’d share something that came to me while reading Stacey Mackenzie’s story. So, while reading this, I thought about all the pressures from the media; the beautiful girls on magazine covers air-brushed to perfection and the amazing actresses or tall, skinny models on TV that everyone knows.  Stacey Mackenzie had just seen one picture from a magazine her sister brought home and she was already set on becoming a model, changing the way she dressed and walked, practicing poses. This made me think, if one picture can do this much, how about the people constantly surrounded by all this pressure to look a certain way? This was a good thing for Stacey Mackenzie because in the end she fulfilled her dream, but for many other girls this can really be something that ruins a girl’s dreams.

Well, I just thought I needed to share something about that, but in the actual story, I LOVED the fact that she never got down and gave up when things seemed so impossible. Even when she had been turned down by so many different agencies all around the world and she still kept moving. This is why this story really meant so much to me and I felt that I needed to blog about. I really don’t think I’ve ever heard a story about such persistence and the great ending with her dreams coming true. This just shows that when you set your mind to it, you can do anything. I know that every single parent says this, including mine, but truthfully, I never really thought about this until now. So thanks so much to Stacey Mackenzie who showed me through her life experiences what my parents have been telling me for years; You can do whatever you put your mind to. I’ll continue to blog as I read more stories!

-Becky