Making It In High Heels

Inspiring Stories by Women for Women of All Ages

Andrea! I totally agree with what you wrote! It’s so crazy because I was just about to write something so similar! It’s so true, sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to and you have to take a detour that may take a little longer! Always have faith and never give up, you will make it there eventually. I used to get sooo upset as well when things didn’t work out….but eventually something better always came …”patience is a virtue”! :) The less anxiety and worry you have, the more you allow opportunity to enter your life! There are so many examples of these in the book “Making it in High Heels” and reading the chapters has reassured me of this!

OH my goodness!! I’ve decided to trust faith and leave my home town of Ottawa. I managed to solve a few issues like finding a subletter for my condo and selling my car…now I have to figure out where I’m going and what I’m going to do!!! I’m so scared but I know a change is needed! Any of you in the same boat? I’m believing in faith and hoping the universe can drop me a few hints, I’ll keep my eyes, ears and heart open! :)

Hello all,

This is actually my second blog post but if you were to do a search, you wouldn’t find my first one.  That’s because it was lost to cyber land a few days ago and I just have to accept that there must have been a reason for it.  I think that’s the biggest point I want to make tonight.  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.  It doesn’t always have to be a profound one, and we may never truly understand why one particular thing happens and another doesn’t until sometime later on, if ever,  but I do ultimately trust in the wisdom of the Universe.   When I received a very apologetic phonecall from the webmaster explaining that my message had been lost, I was very calm, cool and collected about it.  The person I was two years ago would probably have freaked out a bit or gotten upset so it was a great indicator of just how far I’ve come since then.  “Don’t sweat the small stuff”, as they say… and ultimately, “it’s all small stuff”.

As I write this I am preparing to go do a show.  For those of you that don’t know me, I sing lead in a tribute to ABBA that tours and travels across North America.  We are currently in Raleigh, North Carolina playing 3 shows with the symphony here.  It occurred to me, if anyone would like to know a bit more about me and about what I do, feel free to check out my website at www.andreapressburger.com.

Hope you’re all enjoying your weekend, wherever you are…

Cheers,

Andrea

I’m still finicky and when I figure myself out competely I’ll be sure to write a manual!

Finally, my first blog! Its so exciting to think that when my friends, my sister, my 100 cousins and the rest of my family (and sometimes my fiance) get tired of listening to me, I now have a new audience to address!

This past weekend I spent time in Miami celebrating one of my cousin’s, we’ll call her Doc, thirtieth birthday! It was a great party - about 300 people - wonderful weather, drinks, food and little tiny fish bowls with goldfish as centerpieces! What a great idea! I was a little disappointed not seeing any balloons and napkins and all that other junk that has a BIG FAT “30″ printed on it! I was looking forward to covering her in napkins and plates and taking pictures…oh well.

Life after 30… I tried to give Doc some advice. Turning 30 is absolutely wonderful. I credit everything I’m about to say to a paralegal I worked with a few years ago (and a few years older than I): the second you turn 30 everything becomes clear. You know where you are, where you are going, what you want and whats important enough to hold out for and what’s trivial. When my paralegal told me that I thought she was nuts. However, I turned 30 and new horizons opened for me mentally, emotionally, intellectually and physically. I felt stronger, more independent, more respected and well-grounded in who I was.

Anyone in agreement or care to comment?

Hi guys!

Finally, I managed to get on and write my first blog entry. And it just so happens that I had to deal with a reoccurring problem with my boyfriend. It is going to sound like a cliché problem & I never thought I’d have to deal with this, but here I am… In the middle of it, having to deal with something I said I will never tolerate in my relationship. Lying…Never say never…I know!!

I think I am a pretty reasonable, understanding & supportive girlfriend. However, there are certain things that I except in a relationship, which to me is not too much to ask for. For example, things like honesty, respect, trust, clear communication etc, are paramount to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Now, it just so happens that my current boyfriend is 5 years younger than me, which means that there is so much more room for growth & maturity. And yes, I know, that is also something I didn’t think I would ever have to face. But after having a failed relationship with my ex for almost 2 years and having to get back into the dating world, and mostly focusing on men much older than me I realized that age is truly just a number and that a 28 year old can be just as immature as a 16 year old. So at one point I just knew I was done with the whole dating world. There is just something very exhausting and draining about dating to me… It becomes a routine, you start talking, then you want to get to know each other better so you go out for a drink / dinner / coffee / movie, whatever, and the constant questioning begins. Tell me about yourself, your childhood, favourite colour / movie / song blah, blah, blah…So after doing that for awhile, I realized that I have my standards set up WAY TOO high, and that nobody was ever good enough. So I decided to make a list and write down exactly what I wanted from the person of my dreams, along with a list of the things that I will not tolerate.

Fast forward to about a year after that list was written, I meet Andre, who is 17 at the time. I was working as a server, he was a busboy. I immediately felt extreme chemistry, but knowing his age, and my oh-so-high standards I knew that there was no chance in hell that we could ever work out. Well, I guess life had other plans for us. And indeed it did… Somehow, we started talking at work for a bit, then on the computer (facebook, msn etc), and I knew that there was a lot more than just physical chemistry between us. We had a lot in common, although he was very young, I could see immense potential in this young man. Despite his age, he had a lot of depth and he was extremely mature and well brought up, which is always attractive to me.

To make a long story short, after getting to know each other for a little bit, I revealed my “Things That I Want In A Guy” list to Andre, and I was shocked to realize that he fit pretty much every category on that list. And to my surprise, unlike every other guy that I have shown that list to, Andre did not get scared or turned off by this list. In fact, he didn’t feel like I was way out there with my expectation and assured me that he felt confident that he could fulfill almost everything on that list.

Now, let’s get back to today’s events. It’s been awhile now that there have been a couple of issues in our relationship that keep coming up. Although, I am completely in love with him, as I know he is my soul mate and I see a long term future in front of us, there are a couple of very disturbing issues that him & I are facing.

Since childhood, Andre has gotten into a bad habit of lying and getting away with it & he is having a very hard time getting rid of this terrible habit. Now, honesty to me is THE MOST important thing in any relationship. A couple of months ago we almost broke up because of these lying issues. Thankfully, as far as I know, he is faithful to me and will remain that way, because I give him the freedom to socialize with whomever he chooses, as long as he is open about it to me. The lying was about the stupidest things! For example, I am very much against smoking. I have never had a cigarette before, and never will, unless I am forced to for whatever reason. I have made it very clear to Andre from day one that I have made a decision long ago that I will not be in a relationship with a smoker.

Before we got together, he would smoke occasionally, more like a social smoker. After we got together it stopped, until he started doing in secretly once in awhile. When I found out, I was extremely mad, and felt betrayed. We went through a rocky period where I was ready to let him go because I didn’t feel like I could trust him anymore. Some time passed and he came back, basically saying he was an idiot for lying and it will never happen again. Now I know better than to trust words, since actions always speak louder than words. So, it took him awhile to convince me to give us another chance.

After we have mended those problems it was fine for awhile. But then it started happening again, and every time I would find out and start questioning him, he would deny it at first but not for too long, because I know him too well, and can tell when he is lying.

It happened today again. I cannot express through words how much it hurts knowing that he does it even though he has promised not to do it anymore. Our agreement was that he would only have one cigarette when out with friends, having drinks/clubbing. Today was not the case; he smoked with his friends from work after work. And of course I could smell it off of him.

Today I was ready to let him go again. We had a very long talk & the choices in front of him were basically to choose between smoking and me. (I realize it is selfish of me, but in this case I am not willing to give in) At the end of it all, he has made a final decision to quit smoking for real. Not even socially because, according to him, I am more important to him than smoking. And besides he wants to be healthier and wants to get back into working out etc. I had even asked him to write it down and sign it as proof, and part of that “contract” states that if he does it again, he will break up with me himself as penalty for having a weak spirit and not being able to have control over himself & following peer pressure, which is why he always breaks down and has cigarettes anyways. Most of his friends smoke…

Now, my question to you all is: Is it unreasonable and selfish of me to ask him to make that choice, and I guess sacrifice for me? To not smoke that is, or if he wants to smoke, he cannot be with me?

I realize that it is a selfish request, but I have made a decision a long time ago that I will not be with a smoker, whether it would be him or someone else. And of course, the 2nd and probably more important issue is the issue of honesty.

It is sad, because I know I cannot fully trust him the way that I want to, but because I love him and want to help him get rid of this unattractive quality I am willing to work with him through this problem (as per his request). He has a lot of other qualities that outweigh the smoking & lying, as long as we are working though these issues and making progress I am willing to give this another chance.

Feel free to comment, ask me questions or simply share your opinion or own experiences.

Until next time…

Sincerely,

Leyla =)

Antonietta allows us into her past,  her childhood experiences, and her inner-most memories of her troubled family life.  She carries on to recall high school being her darkest days, filled with racial tension and derogatory comments, struggles with her classes, and embarrassment to ask for help.

Antonietta talks of relationships in high school and how her bottled up insecurity and stress eventually got the better of her. Through countless encounters of struggle, Antonietta clearly talks to the readers of Making It In High Heels with a different perspective…one she achieved through growing up and acceptance.

~I had never had any mentors in my life. Most people looked to their parents for mentoring or idealism, but mine were the last people I was likely to look to. Instead, I resented and blamed them for all the struggles and stress in my life. I made it my mission to prove that I can do better. I had always wanted so much from them that I was blind to what I already had. My mother always told me that I had to stop blaming others,; I have looked at underlying reasons and I’m an adult and I do take responsibilities for my actions and choices.~

To read the entire entry by Antonietta Robino,  pre-order your copy of Making It In High Heels now.  Hers and many other inspirational stories await you!

What is your definition of success?  Meagan White shares hers, while “making it in running shoes”, despite her love for High Heels!  Meagan’s story is done thru shared experience of identifying fears and overcoming obstacles.

Reaching puberty at the tender age of 9, taller than her peers and well developed, Meagan knows very well what it feels like to be an outcast.  Meagan began to feel self conscious and she explored different personalities and images in hopes to better fit in with her peers.

Megan has learned the the choices made in adolescence set the stage for future growth and so in time, she developed time management skills, and strong work ethic.  T

~ I forced myself to do some serious soul searching and although I didn’t like all that I uncovered, digging a little deeper triggered a domino effect; I started to re-evaluate all of my relationships and the role I played in my life. It’s not easy to look honestly at yourself, but if you’re brave enough, you’ll uncover the answers you need to move forward. ~

Meagan believes that success is the ability to move forward in life with a sense of purpose and integrity.  To hear more of what Meagan has learned and how she applies it to every day life, pre-order your copy of Making It In High Heels today!

Miriam Cohen writes of the self-worth she dicovered following a three year on-again-off-again relationship.

Relationships account for a very large percentage of eye-opening experiences in many womens lives. Miriam’s relationship had its faults, and although she was not entirely happy at all times, she was in love, and was devistated to find out she had been cheated on.

Miriam takes us through the break-up by sharing the emotions that were felt, as well as the choices she made to accept and grow from the experience.

~On December 31st, I woke up feeling ill. I had promised a friend that I would take her step calss in the morning.  I know myself and I know that the quickest way to cheer myself up is by working out.  I tried to eat breakfast, but could barely touch my cereal. Every time I thought of eating, I would feel sick, but I knew I had to have something; especially since I was heading to the gym. As I drove, I kept trying to push the images of him cheating out of my head. I reminded myself that I as able to get over my first love; and the first cut its the deepest, so I knew that one day I would look back on this and laugh at myself for being so naive.~

For more inspiration, read the book Making It In High Heels, or post a comment or question for any of the girls right here!  Feel free to submit your own relationship stories to provide insight and inspiration to other woman.

While living abroad in Asia I was exposed to a variety of issues that became an eye opener to me. One of the main issues that has stuck in my head is the use of human trafficking (exploitation) and how visible it was to the public.

Sure I’ve seen people in Toronto but never really thought there was a story behind it. Such as being forced or tricked into a corrupt industry of the sex trade with no way out. While heading back to North America I knew I had to do something to help promote awareness of this worldwide issue. (If you have read the paper lately you will see that there are more articles on women being promised citizenship when they come over to work as a nanny but shortly after landing are lied to and have no way out. )

I searched on the internet for organizations that I could become involved with. I finally found one and am helping to put on a fundraiser October 5 at Bloor Cinema. We are screening a movie “Anonymously Yours” that shows an in depth look of human trafficking across Southeast Asia. This is an event I am very proud of. A lot of work and time has been put into making this event “hopefully” a success and raise money and promote awareness which is always the goal.

I will say that I am a bit nervous because Bloor Cinema is a huge theater and there are lots of seats to fill. As well I am a bit stressed, it takes a lot of work to get the word out there. But I have no doubt that all the hard work will pay off.

Thats it for now I will keep you posted on how the event turned out. If you want more information or are interested in attending go to www.endexploitation.com

Sasha Fine

Katrina Hadden grew up watching her mother fight illness.  She retells times of struggle and fear being a child and not understanding her mothers condition.  Katrina discusses her experiences with the readers of Making It In High Heels, and also shares how she coped through out high school, university, and into her career.

Katrina has come along way, and has come to realize that loving herself, and helping others really does make a difference.  Katrina carries faith that her mother will be better, and continues to pursue her dreams while being a spokesperson, model, actress, personal trainer and mentor.

Although it was a tough road, Katrina continue to learn and grow from experience, and teaches how she chose to turn her life around.

~ For women, the teens and early 20’s aren’t easy. We’re faced with self esteem issues, pressures from relationships and budding career issues. I had always worked hard in everything I did, including going from a size 18 to a size eight.~

Karina’s experiences have led her to want to make a difference in peoples lives.  She never stops dreaming and believing!  Read Katrina’s inspiational story, and many others by pre-ordering Making It In High Heels today!

At one point, Kim thought that dropping out of high school was the worst of her worries.  Growing up in a home which was once loving and secure, had taken a change and was now infected with drug abuse. Kim shares a story which few could imagine to Making It In High Heels.  Kim’s story sheds light onto the idea that things are never what they seem, and the future is never certain.

Partying, drugs, and social pressures are not only present in the lives of teens.  Adults who are drawn into addiction may not be able to see clearly the affects these choices may have on their families. Kim shares how her parents change of lifestyle affected her and her sisters who were left trying to keep their family together.

~ I saw five men run downstairs, trying to get into the basement, but my mom had the door locked. I heard them yelling and breaking the door down.  I watched them take my mom down as she tried to escape. Never in my life could I have imagined my mom trying to get away from the cops, let alone my parents being in handcuffs.~

Although Kim has experienced drastic changes which lead to tragedy, her sisters and her now share a special bond and understanding.  Kim teaches us that sometimes, situations are out of our control, but that adversity will make you stronger! Read the complete story by pre-ordering a copy of Making It In High Heels.